Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Medicine Woman I am meant to be

I am struggling to work on my Medicine Woman course and it frustrates me that I am even struggling! Why should this be so damn difficult? But for me it is. Perhaps it is the utter honesty that I am demanding of myself. Perhaps it is the fact that it won't let me go even though I will neglect it for weeks at a time. I refuse to give up, I must complete this course, full knowing that I still will not have 'arrived' or learned it all. Strangely enough I am ok with that. The question asks me to envision the kind of archetypal Medicine Woman I believe I am meant to be...complete with appropriate garments, vestments, and animal and plant allies. You'd think I would have had that done lickety split, but I am really thinking about this and don't want some hokey or new age-y Medicine Woman appearing. Who am I? Who am I meant to be?

I see myself more often than not as the Crone, an older woman. I think this is part of my problem, because I do not see myself with the Wisdom now. I see her coming in the future and I think I need to see her as me NOW. Age does not necessarily beget wisdom and the truth is more often than not I don't feel much different than I did when I was a younger woman or even a child. So then with that in mind, I visualize myself as a strong woman, strong and wise, carrying within myself the Wisdom of the Grandmothers, the Wisdom of the Mothers/Immaot. I have a peaceful knowing smile ever on my face. Not of exuberance although that often happens as I find extreme joy in the smallest of things. My smile is of the peace and joy that I have learned by walking in harmony with the seasons and the earth, with people and animals, with the sun and the moon and the stars and the plants. It is a smile of a woman who has some to peace within herself. I know who I am and I understand my own power. I live my life authentically and I am wild and responsible.

My clothing is not much different than what I wear now, because I wear what I want even now. Mostly free flowing, comfortable and natural fibers. I use colors reflecting my mood or the energy I wish to tap into. My colors span the spectrum, but mostly they focus on the earth and the sea. I have very little black and a small amount of white. When I need an extra boost I have yellow, red and orange. Indian skirts and dresses, wide legged pants and many, many shawls. I have much jewelry and my favorite pieces and stones and beads. I suppose in many ways I try to express who I really am through my dress, because to don garments is easily done. To change costumes to suit the day or mood is done with little effort on my part. But to truly manifest that person and to embody this woman, who I truly am, on the inside, ah there is indeed the rub. The only things I would add to my garments a knife to gather my herbs and a large and a small medicine pouch to store my treasure and or carry my talismans in. I would also be armed with a wonderful basket at all times.

My animal allies are the crow who teaches me to be a walker between the worlds. The wolf who teaches me to be a mother and a teacher, who teaches me of loyalty and of community. The red tail hawk who teaches me to continue to look up for the messages and to trust my spirit. The beaver who teaches me to prepare, work and to persevere. I listen to the messages of the Canadian geese and the Monarch butterfly. I even have a protector dragon, black and young.

My plant allies are my beloved dandelion, who nourishes and flourishes everywhere she goes. Who survives no matter how many times she is tramples and torn from her home. She finds her home wherever she is and sends her seeds everywhere the wind blows. She teaches me to send my roots down and even if she is torn up, a piece of her remains. She feeds and heals from all parts of her, flowers to roots. Plantain who is common and who heals wounds, nettle who upon initial meeting, if you are not careful, may sting and burn but whose medicine is so very good and nourishing to all parts of the body. And finally lavender who needs a bit more care, and is gentle and unassuming. She teaches me to relax and be, so stretch tall and survive the cold winters. She also teaches me that to gain the full benefits and fragrance, I may need to be crushed now and again.

2 comments:

Tracy Carlton said...

Lovin' your new blog! Beautiful sharings! Thanks and blessings,
Indigo

Solace Moonwalker said...

Thanks so much! I really appreciate your words. I am looking forward to living this.