Funny, how I just turn to this blog when I am feeling low. I have another blog, more my rising sign blog, the face I put on for everyone else blog. This is more my moon sign blog, my down and dirty, feeling blue don't really give a $^% blog. Don't know if anyone reads it, guess I don't figure that is the point anymore, although if you do, I will tell you I appreciate it. Really, it is nice to know there are a few who will climb in the pit with you.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Anyway, today is not so much a 'Pit Post' it is more of a ramble post. Just talking about some observations I am making about my life and myself.
Black cats are really funny and highly mischievous.
I seriously love my dog, although I do not like to walk him.
I get really lonely in a crowd of people.
I miss my children's childhood.
I fight fear, daily.
I do not enjoy going to sleep at night.
Twilight is my WORST time of the day.
I love who my adult children are, but sometimes struggle with the newness of it all.
I think I stress more about their relationships than they do.
I love so deeply.
I hurt so deeply.
I have a seemingly endless supply of tears.
I still miss my mother, and as my children get older I seem to NEED her more.
I like being a teacher because I love children, I just don't want to work at a school.
I think I am an anarchist by nature.
I like being an Orthodox Jew...most of the time.
I struggle to believe in Magic(k) and just want too because I think I will become a highly depressed person if I don't.
I realize that the last three statements make me some kind of paradoxical anomaly...or just really confused.
I enjoy talking to my family, animals, plants, children, the Universe, and adults... in that order.
I really do not like feeling sad. I think there was a time in my life that I did, but I am no fan of depression at all these days.
I think I am depressed.
I started wearing makeup to cheer me up. It's an entertaining diversion for now. Besides who wants to cry when you are wearing mascara?
I don't enjoy endings and goodbyes.
Twitter and this blog are my screams into the void.